i’ve been posting a lot of videos recently because i’ve found that they can explain myself better than words. so lets go back to 2002.

i’ve got way too many ideas.

once i get them straight, i’ll let ‘em loose.

until then, i’ll consider myself a dreamer.

I will meet a Beatle one day.

Hello.

I wish that it hasn’t been so long. I also wish that I could write to you in a competent fashion, but it feels as if I can only think in phrases now. I’ve become reliant on the calendar function on my blackberry because my schedule is far too complicated for me. Los Angeles traffic slows me down, only to result in a headache and an unfortunate night. I can’t stop thinking and it will be myself that brings me to the fight with the pillow at the end of the night – again.

It is rough going from a sufficient income to none, but the stress wasn’t worth my age. School has been a major let down. Not because I don’t enjoy the idea of school, but because my classes are awful. It is like that taunting dream that you’d have where you get to the end of third grade and you have never been more excited to move on. Soon enough, the principal calls you into her office and stares at you with big eyes and tilted brows. She tells you that you didn’t improve enough on your third grade exit examination and that you have to take the year over. This haunts you. As all of your friends move on, you are now a step behind and nobody wants to look at you. You’ve lost all of your friends. Right now. Well that was easy. You feel like you know just as much as they do. In fact, you might know even more. For some reason, however, you get held back. More like forced back.

Soon enough, you’re in the work place. You’ve got your suit, tie and expensive pen (I’ve never understood the expensive pen…) Third grade still gets to you. You get an e-mail from your boss. It reads, “We need to talk.” That feeling comes back. You’re back in third grade. Your boss sits you down and stares at you. He reminds you of the sleezy guy that all the girls went for in high school. The guy that you hoped that you’d be better than. Somehow he is the one with the high paying job, the perfect wife and portrait kids. He opens his eyes and tilts his brows. He tells you that you’re great, but your friends haven’t been keeping up. He is going to have to let them go. So now it is just you and him. You are left in a white office with no windows. You’ve now lost contact with your friends. Again.

You get up and leave. You are soon to realize that you’ve been overworked and abused. You decide that you’re not coming back.

Welcome to life. It has been a great introduction.

current projects:
matt wertz (myspace.com/mattwertz)
the duke spirit (myspace.com/thedukespirit)

company:
the media collective (mediacollective.tv)

state of mind:
lost and somewhat confused

subject of photography:
none

conflicts:
work and school.

college applications have drained my energy and interest in the future.

i wish i could write more. maybe tomorrow.