Written last night:

It’s Thursday night and once again I find myself challenging my beliefs, lifestyle and future endeavors. It’s this time when I challenge the decisions that I’ve made, the friends that I have (or don’t have), and the overall personal changes that I have agreed to. I constantly question certain decisions that I have made and their ability to develop into positive or negative product and how they will affect me in short and long-term situations. This is when I know that it is time to escape to the one place that allows me to escape from the ordinary. It’s that one place that makes me feel above the world and all of the problems that have been constructed.

With grass high enough to capture your mind and sky deep enough to allow you to breathe freely, for once, I feel free. It’s a small piece of land where small creatures can live freely, without having to worry about single-minded businessman or large automobiles trekking over their homes. Miles above Los Angeles, I am able to feel tranquil and away from the rush of media, the hopes and dreams that are fractured by inspiring artists and the “success” of corporate millionaires.

As the sun sets, I sit there quietly. This vast flat land is silent as if nobody has ever walked it before. My visibility of the city weakens and my new interest is the stars above me. These massive amounts of heat and energy are the only things that cross my mind. All issues that pounded my psyche, all intentions that failed and worries that threatened my work throughout the day are now swept away. It’s this hill above my house that allows me to escape. It is silent. Finally, I am finally myself again.

I am free.

Stage Two of the College Life: Dress up like you owned the sixties on a Thursday night.

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Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in my mouth.
Only, I don’t know how they got out, dear.
Turn me back into the pet that I was when we met.
I was happier then with no mind-set.

And if you’d ‘a took to me like
A gull takes to the wind.
Well, I’d ‘a jumped from my tree
And I’d a danced like the king of the eyesores
And the rest of our lives would ‘a fared well.

Stage one of the college life: My credit card was declined several times today.

The sun came up early this morning and forced me to come back to reality. I tossed and turned all night, but still managed to wake up quickly, completely restless. I didn’t move. I stared at the blank wall to my right and I was completely amused. I needed no image, no color, no texture on the wall to please my materialistic desires. I was finally content with myself. The wall was filled with still frames from moments that have been exciting for me over the last year. The sky was painted blue with the perfect cast of clouds. The Pacific is about one mile from my bedroom. My cell phone was on the other side of the bedroom. It started to vibrate. As my ringtone ascended, I was told that another day has just begun.

I often take my experiences for granted. Luckly, I religiously (shows how poorly religious I am) update my LiveJournal. With entries from the entire last three years, I am able to look back at my past. It’s always fun to look back at stupid things I posted last year. For some reason, grammatically incorrect sentences and unformulated thoughts we’re cool. Nevertheless, I still have those entries that can put a bold smile on my face and then make me extremely depressed in a matter of seconds. I tend to be great at making myself look very bipolar. It took time to realize that it wasn’t a bipolar personality that was being presented, but instead an incessantly changing lifestyle.

On June 14th, I posted an entry called “This Telephone Cord Is Going Somewhere Special”. In a paragraph style entry, I wrote about experiences, opportunities and changes that occurred up to the day that I decided to graduate a year early from high school. Most talked about friendships that do not exist any longer and business relationships that fell to the ground. But that is “change”, right? Little did I know that my telephone would cost me far into the three-digits every month simply because it was, in fact, going somewhere special.

Suddenly, I realized that the reason I was so content with myself that morning was simply because I have come so far, yet look open-eyed to a wide future. This is a story about a teenager turning eighteen. It’s breaking out into Los Angeles, meeting new friends and starting over that make it challenging. It’s going to college, working and living life to the fullest that make this life worth living. This is (to be extremely cliche) a new chapter in my book. What better way then to start a new blog and a new photo journal to document what comes at me in the near future.

This is the beginning of eighteen.

Go to:

http://staindreject513.livejournal.com